Monday, 28 December 2009

June 2008 Courtships

For a few months I had a restraining order against The Captain (after a nasty punch to my temple and a failed attempt to break my arm... i burnt his face with a cigarette, he promptly stopped the assault, well he was clutching his face and calling me a total bitch, and I fled to the police). The Captain was now under force of law to keep well away from me and my two eldest children, he was allowed routine contact with our son.

I was suddenly alone as a woman! Single...
A friend at work suggested that I join Facebook as a way to keep connected and maybe make some new friends. It seemed logical and seeing as I was often online I could intersperse my social networking with work. Or should that have been the other way around? It did not occur to me that I could get a date or that anyone would want to date me, I had so deeply internalised that I was an overweight plain Jane I assumed I was destined to being lonely for a long long time.

Amongst the many applications on facebook, free dating sites are abundant and I was sent links to them by well meaning friends, I am only human and I checked them out, I would flicker through the pics of men, late at night, wretching and heaving excaliming in horror "Oh my God Disgusting" usually because they were bald, hairy or clearly liked football, I contacted three or four and under the shallow premise that they were very handsome and I might like some adult fun in the future. I never learn honestly! I am a serial monogamist. Amongst the plethora of orcs and chavs, was a profile of a very beautiful woman applying her lipstick in a mirror, a lesbian? on closer inspection, it materialised she was a t-girl, a tranvestite, my heart beat a little quicker, she was literate and well educated, said she was in her mid-forties, just slightly older than me. She was single. I was curious... I dropped her a line. I will call her Judy (as she is for now a well loved friend).

She was in London and I was in West Sussex... we sparked off each other instantly, our senses of humour and love of language made for a mental jousting that I had not encountered since my University years. Mentally we were very connectes, with a smiliar love of reading and a deep interest in science, when we exchanged messages, it was mercurial and light hearted. After lot of heartache, Judy was making me laugh again. Our relationship was entirely web based we never talked on the phone and we planned to meet in Manchester for a meal when I had gone through my relocation. I was looking forward to it, as we clearly got along. I was au fait with issues around gender, as had studied it and had lived with trans people in london in the early 80's. I associated tranvestism as something that was fun and rather exotic. A chilli that could splash some heat into the dull stew of my life. I was sure me and Judy would be friends for a long long time! And what a clever girl she turned out to be!

I was looking forward to friendly dinner with Judy in September but in the interim has been asked out on a date by an-ex army intelligence guy, I had accepted!

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