Monday, 4 January 2010

You and me and Jealousy

I was unquestioning of Judy, I was happy, seeing her every few weeks, and understood her work and family issues would prevent me from seeing her weekends and school holidays, it was preferable to have less of her (and him) than more of anyone else. Chatting most evenings on the Internet, keeping the connection.

The desire for a feminised man came,I think from a visual demasculisation and removal of machismo that was a psycho-sexual sanctuary, my negative feelings towards men eased by her female guise, unless of course I'm simply a dyke who enjoys cock, which was Judy's rather jovial theory. She had bought me into well connected world where I met very very interesting people who were connected by their cross dressing and all would extend a hand of friendship to me, to dine and dance and drink. Judy made me 21 again - I was happy.

A couple of months into the relationship I was contacted by a cross dresser called Angela, who was determined to befriend me and would employ various highly amusing ruses in her emails and messages to catch me out and attract my attention, she was clearly erudite and very lateral in her observations, she was also mind numbingly lonely and I felt for her and our conversations were easy and our chats flowed very smoothly. She was sabre sharp in her thinking, but gentle too. The pictures of her showed a rather plump and frumpy over glammed hausfrau dressed for the opera, she was much more Dallas-Diva than Disco Dolly. Our friendship seemed to be focused on a nightly chat when Judy had to disappear as her son was staying with her or her PC was crashing. There would be two chat boxes open on my screen, Judy would frequently disappear, Angela remained constant. I was oblivious to what was going on.

In the November Angela said she would love to join the t-girls in the Manchester area for a meal and an evening of dancing in The Gay Village and I assured her she would be welcome. She was very much in the closet and was needing to express herself and get out of a a very claustrophobic home life, in a collapsed marriage where her Cross dressing was a subject of derision and a source of bitter hurt for her wife. Angela was of course welcome to join us, there would be a gaggle of t-girls out that night, one more would only add to the fun.

A group of us was sitting in one of the more opulent restaurants in town, all chandelier and red velvet, very ambient music played and from experience Judy and I knew the food was very good. Angela was running late and we were waiting for her. She made an entrance like a tall and gorgeous prom queen, with long porn blond hair, an ankle length vivid red satin dress with a long string of luminescent pearls, she was beautiful... she sashayed across the room on very high black velvet court shoes, the whole restaurant stopped to look at her, Judy went rigid with annoyance, "That's me fucked then, that one will take you off me" - Jealousy was not a side of her I had ever seen. "Don't be ridiculous, how could she?" was my reply.

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